How to Feel Confident When You Feel Anything But

I know I'm not alone in occasionally suffering from the Imposter Syndrome or generally feeling like a big, fat, faker of adulting. My mum has always said to me, "Fake it til you make it!" which is a rule I do live by, since oftentimes when I'm in new situations I can be overwhelmed with thoughts of self-doubt and self-criticism.

Starting a new job, as I am doing, these same negative and harsh remarks make their way to the forefront of my brain and I begin to question EVERY MOLECULE OF MY BEING.

Not wanting to completely derail my first week of work when I should be excited and looking forward to new experiences instead of not being able to focus on things because the voice in my head shouting, "You can't do this!" is too distracting, I headed for Pinterest and researched some ways to make me feel more confident and comfortable in unfamiliar settings.

Clothes make the (wo)man

As in the old expression, "The clothes make the (wo)man." Originally it meant that, one could tell one's status by what someone wore and although this is still true, the idiom has also come to mean, dress comfortably and confidently and you will be comfortable and confident. That's why all those career advice articles tell you to dress for the job you want, not the job you have or that if you work from home, still put on real clothes, which will make you more productive than if you stay in your pajamas all day.  Also, after spending several years in uber casual clothes that are great for giving tours and getting physical, but not so office appropriate. I'm totally looking forward to a lady trouser in my future.

Positive Affirmations

Beyond the typical positive affirmations--my current fav, "I can do all the things", be kind with the way you speak to yourself. The world can be harsh enough, no need for you to pile it on too. Instead of criticizing, remind yourself that you are enough and that you got this!
A few years ago, I was starting a new position at work and I was feeling overwhelmed. A friend of mine told me that in Dutch, they say the word "sterkte!" to wish someone the strength to persevere whatever challenge they are facing. I really liked this and still say it to myself today.

Power Poses
Pseudoscience or not, I love the idea of practicing power poses to help boost my confidence. With fists on hips like Wonder Woman, I can't help but feel like I can conquer the world! Or at the very least, the small task in front of me. And even if it doesn't give me the little boost I'm looking for, body language speaks loud and proud and others will see you as confident. Just don't confuse the Wonder Woman pose with the Superman pose.

make a list

I have a bullet journal and one of my favourite things to do in it is to write a weekly inventory of achievements I accomplished that week. Sometimes the list includes major achievements like absolutely nailing an interview and other times it's the little wins, like woke up before 9am, that are celebrated. Creating a list of things you are good at and things you've accomplished is a good way to remind yourself just how much you rock.

Speak with Confidence
Rephrase how you speak, to instead speak with confidence. It's no longer, "I don't know", now it's "That's a good question, let me look into that and get back to you."

Rally Crowds

I once attended the London Marathon (merely as a spectator) and as runners passed by my friend and I noticed the name bibs on each participant. The crowds around us shouted and cheered people on, calling out their names even though they didn't personally know them. As an aside, I noticed a lot of Dave's running and called out to them each time with a hearty, "YEEEEEEEEEAAAHHH DAAAAVE!" Wouldn't you love to have a crowd should out encouragement to you everywhere you went?
When you need them, call on your personal cheerleaders, those people that are super supportive and say encouraging things to you and who have absolutely no doubt in their minds that you will be a success. It couldn't hurt.


These are some of the things I'm doing to trick myself into feeling more confident than I actually am just yet. Gaining real confidence will only come with time, as I become more comfortable with my surroundings, more familiar with the history of the organization and more informed about the industry.

Update: After posting this I discovered the newly launched The Insecure Girls' Club by the bad-ass blogger Liz Purvis. She's developing her club for women who need to be reminded "that you can be successful, outgoing, good company and confident and still be insecure at times...[the club is] a place for girls who want to kick ass, but still feel a bit wobbly at times." We aren't alone in our moments of insecurity even while being awesome and capable. Sometimes it's just nice to know we aren't alone, it's not all instagram perfection out there.

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A post shared by The Insecure Girls’ Club (@theinsecuregirlsclub) on Sep 9, 2018 at 8:49am PDT

Do you 'fake it til you make it?'

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Existential Blog Questions

I feel very lackluster as of late. I'm not inspired to work on the blog. I have so much content lined up from my trips to the UK in the spring and Newfoundland in the summer, but I just can't bring myself to spend the time and sit down to write the posts, edit the photos or even promote the blog on social media.

Part of the issue is that I've been working the day job quite a bit lately which involves day and evening shifts, sometimes in the same day and its just left me dog-tired. When I do have a bit of free time, I just can't muster the energy to anything but mentally prepare to go back to work.

I'm finding also, and not proudly I might add, I've been having some serious blogger envy, fellow bloggers might know this feeling. You follow some bad-ass bloggers and lady bosses and once in a while you wish it was you that was ruling the internet--taking names and getting shit done. When really you are just sitting in front of your computer with a list of site maintenance to-dos and an armload of articles to read about building your blog/your brand/your numbers, when really all you want to do (and lets be honest, actually do) is watch instagram stories, drink tea, and plan a make believe trip to Bali.

I thoroughly love blogging. I enjoy the writing, taking photos, creating the general content. What I'm wondering now though is, is blogging something I'm content with being a small (very small) side project that I'm purely doing for my own enjoyment and the few followers I do happen to have (I dearly love each of you)? Or do I actually want to grow this somewhat schizophrenic little blog into something that can fulfill me both emotionally and financially?

Do I have a distinct enough voice? Do I even have a voice? What is my niche? Is it unique enough? It is what I want? Is it what you want? Where are my pants?

Am I uninspired because I'm not seeing the results I want or merely because I'm tired and just need a little nap?

So many questions, fellow bloggers have you had these kinds of feelings? I'm not ready to quit you, {Erin Out and About}, but how do I get inspired again?

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Benefits of Blogging: Link up

I started this blog when I first made the decision to move to London back in 2012. It was to be a travel blog that documented my journey and to keep in touch with my friends back home. As time marched on, the blog developed more into a personal platform where I recorded my thoughts and daily adventures; a way to connect with my parents "so father doesn't worry". And then two unexpected things happened. I began meeting new, like-minded, fellow bloggers--ironically IRL and I rediscover my love of writing.

When I first moved to London and I would be introduced to new people I would only sometimes bring up the fact that I blogged (never that I was actually a blogger), and even then, only if the conversation lead that way, would I sheepishly mention it. God forbid people knew about it. The turning point came when I met Selena and in her found a motiblogger tm (I know, it doesn't really work--how about blogspiration tm?) and my circle of friends widened. Next came #LDNBloggersTea and I was introduced to a whole group of inspiriting, creative, supportive bloggers and I was proud to say I was one too.

I used to really fancy writing, but since the last day of high school's writer's craft class, I hadn't really put pen to paper creatively, in a very long time. Sure I wrote essays, abstracts, biographies, and even a dissertation, in the ensuing years, but those were more blood to paper than an artistic expression. Blogging has brought me back to what I used to love and in a way that feels (mostly) free, informal, and most importantly, fun.

I think it's these two reasons that keep me blogging, this is my constant in my current unsettled life.
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This post is part of the monthly link up hosted by Emma, Rebecca, and Kelly. Check out their posts and the others that participated in this month's travel link up.

#LNDBloggersTea round 3: The Milestone Hotel

I've been spoiled, this was the 3rd #LDNBloggersTea organized by Selena of Oh, the places we will go! (others seen here and here) held at the Milestone Hotel in South Kensington. I had heard much about this hotel prior to my visit so I was definitely looking forward to our afternoon tea. I certainly enjoy an afternoon glass of champagne followed by delicious finger sandwiches (why do they taste so much  better when cut this way?), perfect cream tea, and decadent desserts.

I'll never understand how hotel staff know who the bloggers are. We walk through the door, maybe looking a bit lost, a bit excited, maybe a bit shabby and out of place, camera poised in hand, searching. They approach and say, "This way madam." 

There were a few newbies in attendance this time around (so great to meet new faces, such talented and interesting ladies) and I will always love the moment when the first food comes out and so do the cameras. We giggle together knowing we are in a group of kindred spirits and we wait to dig in only once the last photo is taken. 

I've said before that usually the sandwiches are my favourite part of an afternoon tea (savoury over sweet) and these little guys were tasty. Nothing super fancy or special, just what you would expect; cucumber and cheese, salmon with cream cheese, ham and mustard, egg salad, chicken salad, but the bread was fresh and there was plenty of food!

I then moved on to the scones. Again, nothing too special here--unlike the amazing scones I've had before--but they were fresh and served with lovely clotted cream and jam.

By the time I got around to the dessert course I was stuffed and could only manage a small popcorn macaroon lollie. Watch out for the unpopped kernels though!

I had a lovely afternoon, but now for some of the bad stuff. It was a lovely afternoon and although I enjoyed the 'normal' food offered by the Milestone hotel, I know the specialty diets were a bit of a challenge. The gluten free option, although looked beautifully presented, was served on very hard bread and I noticed didn't get eaten for the most part. The scones I hear were good, but again not the best they'd ever had. The dairy free menu had some tasty looking desserts, however, that was all that was given to her; no scones, no sandwiches. Obviously this was just an oversight on the hotels part, but still put a slight damper on the afternoon.

Overall, it was a lovely afternoon with a bunch of great bloggers, but as afternoon teas go, it was just alright. It is what you expect from this experience, but didn't wow me in anyway. Like I said, I think I've been spoiled and now the standard has been set to high. There's no going back now.

This was not a sponsored post, I paid for my afternoon tea experience.

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A Science Afternoon Tea at the Ampersand Hotel

You might have guessed by now, I enjoy an afternoon tea, but what's currently on offer at the Ampersand Hotel Drawing Rooms definitely take the cake. (Yeah, I said it) 

When I first arrived at the hotel, I was immediately taken with the miss matched furnishings, winged light bulb chandelier, and the delightful paintings of animals in cocktail glasses. My eyes were further delighted with the cake table and I wanted one of each before I remembered I was here on a special mission. A scientific mission.

Located in South Kensington just moments from the V&A, Natural History Museum, and the Science Museum it seems only appropriate that this month's theme is Science Afternoon Tea (running until March 21)

Things started out the way they usually do at a blogger tea; everyone chatting away snapping the occasional photo and sipping complimentary champagne while waiting for tea to be poured.  That is, until the food trays are brought out. Then we can't get out of our seats fast enough to take every photo possible. (This is usually my most favourite moment to watch)

 The savoury freshly made gougères, melted in my mouth. I couldn't possibly pick a favourite of the Gloucester old spot ham with sauce gribiche; cheese with fruit chutney; smoked salmon, dill and cream cheese and coronation chicken.

I moved my way up the stand to the scones, which I was delighted to learn were WHITE CHOCOLATE! YUM! They were the perfect compact size as I was starting to fill up and I hadn't even got to the science lesson yet!

Head Pastry Chef Ji Sun Shin has created an excellent assortment of tasty treats: from citrus fruit cocktails in tiny beakers; hazelnut, walnut and chocolate cake with a mango mousse volcano and chocolate dino; a pistachio macaroon with cherry sauce pipette (fun to eat!); and a raspberry Victoria Sponge like planet cake with white chocolate. And yes, they were all delicious, but what really got us all going and having our shutters a flutter was when the waiter came out and 'activated' the dry ice. Science!
I almost didn't want to ruin this creation, but I worked through this emotion by consoling myself with a macaroon and shot of cherry. 
Come on, you would too.

This was a great afternoon out and this big kid enjoyed her science lesson. If this was how it was done in school who knows what would have become of me!

Afternoon Tea is served from 2.30pm to 5.30pm and costs from £27.50 to £44.50 depending on which tea you book.

The Ampersand is located at 

10 Harrington Road, 

London, SW7 3ER

Starting March 22-30 they will have their Mother's Day tea and I would love a reason to go back. Quick Mammy, get on a plane!



Fun travels!

The Ampersand has compensated me for this afternoon tea. All opinions, writing, and photos (such as they are) however, are my own.

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London Bloggers Tea: Royal Horseguards Hotel

I mentioned a couple Mondays ago that I had attended the second #LDNBloggersTea organized by Selena and held at the Royal Horseguards Hotel. I knew I was in for something special when I saw the address of the hotel was located along the river and beside a favourite green space that I've had many alfresco lunches in.

The room was immaculately dresses with pretty pink and lilac dishes, menus tied in pretty pink ribbons and even prettier take home truffles.

Once the initial chit chat and introductions were completed along with sipping our complimentary glasses of champagne we took seats at 3 tables and ohh'd and ahh'd as the three tier cake stands came out. Then we began what bloggers do best...photographing every pretty little detail. 

Gina kindly getting out of the shot for someone's photo.

Oh the menu was divine. Chef Ben pampered us with delicate finger sandwiches and teeny tiny sweets.
I scarfed down We were served homemade scones with clotted cream and homemade strawberry jam, "After Eight" shot glasses (my fave!), Banana Roulade, Passion Fruit and Raspberry Meringue Lollipops, Mango Curd Tarts, lemon Meringue Cupcakes, and Pink Peppercorn and Strawberry Ganache Stripy Macaroons.
Although I had my fill of delectable finger sandwiches I made sure to save room for a dessert or two (or three).

We had a choice of Pomegranate tea (the pink one) or Assam tea. I had some of each of course, but the Pomegranate was so fresh tasting and not too sweet. Chef Ben told us about their menus and that they use seasonal ingredients and try to compliment their fruit teas with the recipes being served with the afternoon tea.

Not unexpected, I had a fab time meeting some cool bloggers and getting to know everyone a little better IRL. Making these kinds of connections is what makes the blogging world just so wonderful. What made this day better was taking a doggy bag  a take-away box home with me. 

Check out all the lovely ladies that attended this month's #LDNBloggersTea:

Runaway Kiwi

Sunny in London

Meg-Made

Wife School

Two Feet, One World

Passport and Toothbrush

Urban Pixxels

Sweet Serenity

Little Big Bell

Oh, the places we will go

Adventures of a London Kiwi

The Afternoon Blog

More Than Just a Cupcake Lover

Jess-on-Thames

Office Breaks

Happy Ever After Bride

Eat, See, Do

Love and London

Kiwi Footprints

Fun travels!

This was not a sponsored event.

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