Friday, 6 June 2014

Open Letter to the Gentleman I Met Today

Dearest Gentleman who spat at me today,

I would first like to thank you for your very gracious, not at all creepy, kiss you blew at me today on my walk home. It was super nice to recieve so much wanted attention on my short walk, because dear sir, I'm afaid to tell you, you were not the first. First there was the lorry driver that honked at me and stared as he drove past, I would have said hello, but he was gone in an instant. Then there was the teen aged boy who cat called me from the street corner by the school, he seemed nice, but much too young for me. Then  there was you. I must have been so nicely dressed that none of you could contain your appreciation. I do regret not knowing how to react appropriately to any of these...advancements.
 I do apologize if I appeared hostile, I should have chased after your BMX bike rather than just merely wave at you with one finger. I was however, delighted to see you turn around, It's just too bad you have such poor aim, otherwise I would have so much enjoyed wearing your spit. 
You must be the luckiest adult, to have a good paying job that allows you to have Friday afternoons off and instead you can ride around on your little bike in the sunshine. 

I do so hope we get to meet again. Our brief encounter has meant so much to me. How else would I have known I was a beautiful, valid, human being without your harassment... I mean attention. 
Your mother/sister/grandmother/aunt (I'm covering my bases here since I don't really know you) should be really proud of you. 

Yours Sincerely,


  1. I don't either. I mean, sometimes I just want to turn around and ask these guys how many women this actually works on. Like, what kind of success rate does yelling at girls from your car have? Seriously.

  2. Steph O'KaneJune 15, 2014

    I hate that this happened to you but I love the way you have written this down.

  3. It was a bit cathartic writing this. Well this and daydreaming about roundhouse kicking into oncoming traffic. :)


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