How to Survive Ribfest Season: Case Study Brampton Rotary Rib n' Roll

One thing I missed while living abroad was the annual ribfest. Back in the day, I'd hit them all; Guelph, Burlington, Mississauga, but one forever eluded me as it was just so early in the summer calendar, the Brampton ribfest. This year, I made it a point to mark it down, luckily I remembered it just in time. Unlike the former ribfests mentioned, the Brampton Rib 'n Roll is a small, local rib affair. In attendance were the Brampton restaurants: Louisiana Seafood and Steakhouse, Jake's Boathouse, RD's Southern BBQ, Turtle Jack's Muskoka Grill, and Big Z's Smokehouse. Accompanying the ribs were an assortment of sides and a good helping of entertaining cover bands. This is not an event for the faint of heart or the vegetarian. A plan of attack must first be organized and executed with precision. Follow my step by step guide and you will do just fine.

Step One:
Go in great numbers then divide and conquer; it's the only way to get a wide selection of tasty ribby goodness. *must be willing to share.

Step two:

Soak up the atmosphere, get into the groove, enjoy your surroundings. Everyone's here to have a good time, so don't mind the queues and be friendly to your neighbours.

Step three:
Don't forget the lovely accompaniments.
Summer sweet corn is my favourite and when grilled I almost can't resist it. Then there's the Tornado Potato the size of a petit lady and deep fried Blooming Onion with chipotle dipping sauce.

Step four:
Be prepared to get messy. It just doesn't taste as good if you aren't up to your knuckles in bbq sauce. If you're lucky, the ribs might be precut, if you're very lucky you might find a wet nap to clean up.

Step five:
Take a picture or two, but remember flossing will be a future requirement and smile accordingly.

Step six:

Don't forget to leave room for dessert especially for ice cream and especially on a hot summer's day. No worries if you didn't leave room, you can always make some with some light stretching, demonstrated thusly...

Mmm ice cream

Step seven:

Burp, slurp, and smear your appreciation for your favourite foods.

A child of seven stood next to me at the handwashing station. I looked down at her as we simultaneously lathered our hands. Her cheeks were covered in red rib sauce from ear to ear. She smiled up at me. I smiled back. "Don't forget your face" I advised her. She smeared a paper towel across her fleshy cheeks. "I always get it all over when I'm eating delicious food".
Well said wee one.


*Yes. It was so nice, I went twice. All in the name of research. Don't judge.